Why I Share It…

moth to a flame

A couple of week’s ago I started sharing the story of Master Douglas. I have received several comments on the story and I know some parts have not been received positively, a reaction I totally understand.

I wanted to explain why I share it…

Back in August of 2014, when Master Douglas and I started ‘talking’ to each other, he mainly had questions about our D/s relationship, about how we fill things in and how I feel about some things. He told me little tidbits about his wife, his daughter, his niece and his slave. He sometimes asked me advice on things and sometimes he told me how my blog posts has inspired him to do something to his wife.

There never was a formal consent between him and his wife. BDSM was something that became a natural part of their relationship when they were young. To be honest, sometimes when he told me about how he used his wife, I felt a bit of envy. For instance, he told me how he let his wife stand on all fours, naked, her cunt turned to him and how he lazily played with her while he watched TV, fingering her but not letting her climax, slapping her ass, then softly stroking her again. He didn’t objectify her, but it came close. Honestly, the thought of being used like this really made me go wet.

But, he also told me things that made me cringe. Some of the sessions he had with his wife or with his slave were hard. Very hard, bordering on abuse. Too hard for me to handle. You see, I tend to imagine myself in the other’s position, and I just knew and still know I would never be able to handle what Master Douglas dishes out. I told him this, quite recently, and this is what he said:

I have my ‘kinks’ but I never go there at the expense of the receiving end. Anyone who can handle and want a mighty stroke with the cane, can and may expect it. But, those who don’t want that, will never receive it from me. Playing with someone who wants something totally different from what I want… well, that just won’t work. I don’t mind whether a session is soft or hard. I kick on the reactions of the receiving end. I find it more of a disappointment when there is no reaction than when the session is ‘soft’.
I don’t mind using a lighter whip or clamp with someone who cannot handle much pain. In fact, if I use ‘heavier’ implements, the session will be over too soon and that’s not what anyone wants.

I want to share his story – all of it. Believe me, I also had my moments when I thought: this is enough, I don’t want to know anything more. But like John Brownstone said in his comment to part 5 of Master Douglas: I feel like a moth to a flame with this story. I just can’t look away.

moth to a flameI have been a moth to a flame for three years now. Master Douglas has shared things with me that I do not approve of. Things happened that he seemed to have no control over, but then again I feel he should have had control. But… I wasn’t there. I cannot judge. And, no matter what happened, he never tried to make himself look good but was honest sharing the events.

Master Douglas reads every installment of HIS story. He also reads the comments. The comments on the first couple of installments hit him hard, especially the one where I shared more information about Stacy. He felt like ratbag and didn’t want to see Stacy. He wanted to be alone. In hindsight he wonders whether he should have been stricter with Stacy. She’s a young woman with a strong will and knows exactly what she wants and I think that sometimes the setting, the emotions and her strong will fade all lines there should be. Not an excuse, but an explanation.

If you keep on following Master Douglas’s story, you might read things you don’t agree with, things that might shock you, things that will never happen in your world. You don’t have to read it. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to judge him either. This man honestly shares things that happen in his life. Some of them are hot; others are debatable. I think there might be more stories like this out there, or even stories that are a lot worse than this one.

I have been a moth to a flame for the last three years. I have a lot of stories still to translate (he just recently sent me a story about a session he had, which will eventually be number 66 of the series). I don’t know how long he will keep on sharing his life with me. There might come a day when he stops sharing, or a day when he shares something that goes too far. We never know what the future brings us, but for now, the flame is just too inviting for me to fly away…

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© Rebel’s Notes

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