Bukkake… No! Yes? Maybe?!

Ejaculate on my breast

On my post, Reflection: First Date with The Talker, Molly said this in her:

I am going to guess from this post that the current Bukkake topic on Kink of the Week is going to leave you cold but maybe I am wrong.

 

In turn, commenting on a post of Molly, I confirmed that indeed, the topic leaves me cold.

But… yes, there’s a but.

I am curious about it.

One of my biggest fantasies is to be part of a gangbang. I want to be the only female and at least ten men around me will use me in any way they want to. Of course, when they fuck me, they will have to wear condoms and the ‘cleanest’ version of this fantasy is that they shoot their loads in the condoms. A second version is for me to swallow all of them, but there is a third version too: for them to ejaculate over my body.

Now I have explained that I am not into ‘mess-making’ and having ten men (or more) ejaculate over me… well, in my head that is a mess. I cannot bear to look at porn where men ejaculate onto a woman – I always turn my head away. I don’t want to see it.

And maybe that’s just it… maybe, just maybe I want to experience bukkake, but only if I could keep my eyes closed and not look at the mess they are making? Being part of a gangbang and being part of a bukkake scene will satisfy the part of me that loves to be used. As long as I don’t have to decide what happens, as long as the men takes the lead and do with me whatever they want to, I am happy and I will undergo anything they want, as long as they don’t cross my hard limit boundary.

Ejaculate on my breast
Master T’s ejaculate on my body.

Immediately the questions comes to mind: is bukkake on my hard limits list? I think the answer is clear already from what I have said above: it’s a maybe. I believe that with some things we can immediately say ‘no, I never want to do that’ and other things are an immediate ‘yes’. But, there are things that you have to try first before you can decide whether it goes onto your ‘yes’ or ‘no’ list. We are not into degradation and in a way I think I might feel degraded when I am used like that. I like being used but being degraded fucks with my mind too much. There’s a fine line there, and therefore I think that I first have to try to see whether I like it or not.

Master T has ejaculated on my body in the past, but only on a handful of occasions. I know he loves doing it and he knows that I don’t like it that much. The times he did it, I couldn’t look at his ejaculate on my body, but wiped it off with a towel, or he did. In a gangbang scene, moving into a state of mind where I want nothing else but to be used for the pleasure of the men, it might be totally different. I might actually look at the men when they ejaculate, or look at the mess on my body. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Speaking of Master T… what are his thoughts on a bukkake scene? I asked him and he said: that’s a very interesting concept, something that will happen and an idea you will eventually get used to.

So I guess bukkake will have to stay on my ‘maybe’ list until I know for sure whether it’s a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.

© Rebel’s Notes

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7 thoughts on “Bukkake… No! Yes? Maybe?!

  1. I completely understand this, I struggle when I squirt or having period sex because of my hatred of mess but for some bizarre reason I would love to be covered in semen. I have absolutely no idea how my brain works at times!

  2. I totally get this and in fact I think I have a similar feeling about it. Not with regards to the mess aspect but just whether I would ever want to turn fantasy into reality. I am also not into humiliation and so if it struck that nerve I think I would hate it, but being used, now that is another matter completely

    Mollyxxx

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