Full Circle

Puzzle pieces in the form of a rainbow puzzle.

Some time ago I read a post on Michael and Molly’s blog My D/s Life, Take a Knee, and in that post were words that made me think of the D/s relationship Master T and I have.

Low protocol D/s…

Looking at our relationship, that is definitely what we have now. Low protocol D/s. If you have been reading along with our D/s journey, you will have seen the phases we went through. When we formalized our relationship, Master T had a set of rules for me, of things I had to do daily or weekly, or things I had to ask for. I followed those rules meticulously, even when they didn’t really fit into my daily schedule. As time passed on, we both ‘relaxed’. It took me longer to relax than it took Master T. I went through a typical sub frenzy, wanting him to set rules for me in every aspect of my life, where, if I think of that now, it makes me shudder. The next phase I went through is where I got restless (bordering on irritation and anger) if Master T didn’t ‘do’ anything ‘dommy’ for some time. I mentioned that we should have a date night and for some time that worked. For quite some months actually, but gradually we realized that it was too much a thing of ‘have to’ than ‘want to’.

We had a talk… and some puzzle pieces finally found their places.

Back when we met each other, started our relationship, lived together and got married, our life was like a puzzle. All pieces were in place and it was one big, beautiful picture. We didn’t quite understand the meaning of all elements in that picture, which had us taking the pieces apart and putting them back together again. That’s exactly what we have done with the D/s part of the picture. We took it apart, examined it, tried to put it back together differently by twisting and turning the pieces, and finally we realized that it was perfect as it was before we took it apart. We put it back together again the way it was, brightened the colors on it and are both smiling because that part is so beautiful.

Puzzle pieces in the form of a rainbow puzzle.The taking apart of the puzzle pieces was when Master T gave me a set of rules, when he gave me tasks, when he used the whip on me night after night and told me to wear my buttplug day after day. The twisting and turning of the pieces was when Master T wanted to rebuild the puzzle, but I didn’t want to let go of the frenzy part. I still wanted him to give me tasks, to whip me, to order me around – if not daily, then at least once a week. The part where we rebuild the puzzle the way it originally was, was when we both realized that our relationship is good as it was and is. D/s was always a part of our relationship, even before we called it a D/s relationship. From the beginning of our relationship, Master T was ‘the boss’ and I followed. It was a natural thing in our relationship, the way we both wanted it. The only thing we did with our life puzzle was to brighten the colors, to keep the D/s part alive – the dominance, the submission, the pain, some daily rules, the having to ask for an orgasm, the not being allowed to cross my legs. That part of our puzzle is bright and alive, even though weeks might go by without me bending over and Master T holding a cane in his hand.

I say weeks go by without anything happening, but that is not entirely true. Several times a week there are small things that happen which make me remember my place. A pinch of a nipple, a hard slap on my bottom, a stern look, my asking for permission to orgasm or me masturbating and not climaxing because I don’t have permission for an orgasm. It’s the little things that satisfy us. The frenzy is over. D/s was part of us when we met and it still is, in our own way, the way that suits our way of life and the phase of our lives we are in now.

It’s good the way it is.

We have come full circle.

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© Rebel’s Notes

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6 thoughts on “Full Circle

  1. Twigs says:

    Thank you for sharing and being honest about changes and needs. I am not sure the picture always returns though to where it was, although maybe it feels like it’s the same the awareness and the lessons learnt makes it a different picture/puzzle? Like the philosophers axe?

    • Marie Rebelle says:

      You’re right, it might not actually be full circle as we have grown over the years we are practicing D/s and we now have the knowledge we didn’t, but still, not having the ‘frenzy’ I used to have, makes me feel like we’ve come full circle. That’s the only way I could describe it 🙂

  2. This is a really interesting post. I think finding a balance that works for you both in the sense of meeting your needs and fitting into your lives, is so important and yet also really challenging. the last couple of months so us seem to be have been so stressful and busy that it feels a bit like our balance has been knocked but I know it is still there somewhere and when life settles down it will all be OK

    Mollyxxx

  3. Wonderful post . . . so nice, and warming, to read.
    It’s lovely when you feel you can give and receive so much together in a relationship isn’t it.
    So happy for you . . . and happy for us that we can follow your journey here!!!
    Xxx – K

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