When I was about ten, I went to school every day with two pigtails. My mom had to do my hair in the mornings and I was always moaning that she hurt me. One day she had just had it with my moans. From there on until well into my twenties I had short hair. It was only late in my twenties that I decided I want to grow my hair, but every time it was a bit longer, I had it cut again. Only in the second half of my thirties my hair really started to get longer. Then, I think it was back in 2011, I wanted ‘something different’ when I went to the hairdressers. I came back with my hair chopped to shoulder length. It was only when I saw Master T’s face that I realized I shouldn’t have done it. I tried to tell myself that it’s my hair and I can decide about it, but I gradually started to miss my longer hair. Back at the hairdressers the next time I made a deal with the hairdresser: if I ask her to cut my hair, she would check with Master T first.
I have still not asked her.
My natural hair color is brownish blond, but it’s long ago that I saw my natural hair color. Partly because I first had my hair colored a lighter shade of blond and then I decided that I wanted to have red hair. For the past four or five years I have been a redhead and I love it. When my roots show, many of those are grey. Maybe one day I will be ready to have grey hair, but not just yet. Even though I have seen some ladies with beautiful grey hair. One day I will be ready.
This post is not all about the length or the color of my hair.
My long hair plays its part in our kink too. Sometimes in bed Master T pushes his fingers into my hair, grabs a bush and pulls. Or he does it when I’m standing in front of him. He uses my hair to focus me. To focus my attention on him and what he wants. He grounds me this way. The pain grounds me, focuses me. When he pulls my hair and pulls my head back at the same time, I arch my back and push my nipples right into his waiting hand. With the fingers of one hand tangled in my hair, he controls me. It’s a feeling a love, a control I like to submit to.
Something else I like is when I sit at his feet and he touches my hair – not only rests his hand on my head, but runs his hand over my hair. Normally I hate it when people touch my hair, but when Master T does it, it’s different. It’s sexy. It’s sensual. It’s hot.
Somehow, thinking of it now, it seems like my hair in a way has some link to my submission… or does it?
Let me think out loud here… I love my long hair, but would I have stopped cutting it if Master T didn’t react the way he did when I cut it some years ago? Is it my submissive nature that made me ‘listen’ to Master T and let my hair grow? Or was it because of my own disappointment about cutting it? Submitting to Master T comes so naturally to me, that I think at least 50% of the reasons I have long hair is because I know he wants it. Does that make sense?
Would my hair have come into kink play as much as it did when I had short hair? I know it’s possible to pull short hair, but it’s even more possible with long hair, right?
Feeling his hand at the nape of my neck, his fingers slipping into my hair, his hand closing, the pull, the pain… it awakens something in me…
© Rebel’s Notes
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