Private Moments

I started masturbating at quite a young age. I don’t think I had any orgasms back then – I was eleven – but I definitely like the feelings that ran through my body while my fingers rubbed that tender piece of flesh between my legs. Of course I always masturbated in secret, as I instinctively knew my parents would ‘kill’ me if they found out.

Later in my life, masturbation became a necessity. You see, for the bigger part of my life, before I met Master T 14 years ago, I was between relationships. And damn, even sometimes during those relationships I had to masturbate only to get the orgasms I needed.

I don’t need to masturbate anymore, as my sex life is rich and rewarding, but sometimes I just need some private moments and a quick release and those are the times that I grab my Womanizer Pro. Now, if you have been following along on this blog for some time now, you will know that I have to ask for permission to orgasm. However, when the urge to play with myself strikes, I am not always in the position to ask Master T for permission. Those are the moments that I masturbate and bring myself to the edge of an orgasm, up to the point where shivers run through my body… and then I stop. And? It’s rewarding. Almost as rewarding as a real orgasm.

Ever since I started using the Womanizer Pro and realized I can trap it between my thighs, I have this one fantasy in my mind, which gets me hot every time. I stand on my knees and buck my hips, imagining someone behind me, slowly ass-fucking me. It’s as if the huffing and puffing of the toy and the vibrations to go with it get more intense and the images I have in my mind sends me to the edge, but I always stop before I am pushed over it.

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His orders: Masturbate!
(click to enlarge)

I don’t always stop before my orgasm hits. Master T expects me to masturbate while he is watching. Sometimes even when he’s not watching, but then I have to masturbate to get myself ready for sex. Sometimes I am allowed to orgasm, sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I am allowed to use sex toys, and sometimes I’m not. Sometimes he puts porn on and sometimes he doesn’t. No matter what form these masturbation sessions take on, they are never the same as those I do when I need the feeling. The main thing that makes them different is the fact that I have no images in mind. When I am told to masturbate, I do and all my attention is focused on my body, on my fingers touching me and working myself to an orgasm. You see, when I am expected to masturbate, I might not necessarily be in the mood, but Master T doesn’t take no for an answer. This doesn’t mean that the masturbation doesn’t give me any pleasure. In fact, it gives me more pleasure than those needy masturbation sessions, because it’s something we share.

It’s interesting to experience that I need less masturbation than I did all those many years ago. Having my orgasms controlled, has more or less calmed me down. Those edging sessions I have only tend to make the sex hotter, once I am allowed to have an orgasm. Masturbation – for me – doesn’t have to be about the orgasm. To me it’s about pleasuring my body, about heightening the desire of my body for Master T to allow me my release.

ยฉ Rebel’s Notes

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4 thoughts on “Private Moments

  1. I used to edge a lot too when I lived alone, it could take me all evening before I’d allow myself that orgasm. Controlled orgasms aren’t working for me at the moment, it ends up with me not being able to cum. It seems I have a lot further to go to get rid of my past skeletons than I realised.

  2. I love edging. I really love trying to stay at that point until I am given permission. I really like the way you feel about masturbation at different times.

  3. I love reading all these posts and seeing everyone’s different experiences, techniques etc. Edging tends not to work for me, just makes me tense and eventually grumpy but I do enjoy having my orgasms controlled by him.

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