For this year’s A-Z Challenge I decided to focus on things that I have come across during our 5 years of active kink, and share my experiences and things I have learned, my opinion or things I am curious about. In each post I am using an image that has been used on my blog before, with a link to the original post.
Continued from… D is for D/s & More
You only have to click on different links on this blog to discover that I am an exhibitionist. I love showing images of myself and feel no shame at all that others look at my most intimate parts. In fact, it excites me, but sometimes it doesn’t even evoke any kind of emotion in me as it simply is what it is: I am an exhibitionist.
It started at quite a young age, roundabout the time I was 10 or 11 years old. I used to dress up and play ‘king and queen’ and even though I played alone and knew that no one could see me, I loved ‘showing’ myself by pulling my panties to the side and exposing my pussy to the world out there. By the time I was 14 I still pulled my panties to the side, but this I did for the oldest son of our neighbours, who was five years older than I was. He wanted to see me and I gladly complied. Was that because I have exhibitionism in my genes or because I like following orders? My guess? A bit of both.
Ooooh edging. This is another thing I have a love-hate relationship with. I love the feeling of being in the brink of an orgasm and then being denied to go over the edge. But I only love it for so long and then it gets boring and I want to have my climax. However, I cannot say just when it will get boring (or irritating even) as there is no specific number to that.
Sometimes I torture myself. I am not allowed to have an orgasm without asking for permission first. But, sometimes I get out of the shower and I use the Womanizer Pro to stimulate my clitoris. Then I stop on the edge of my orgasm, not wanting to disobey Master T. Sometimes, when I stop, I wonder if I haven’t already had the orgasm, as the feeling is so incredibly intense.
You know, even though I have this love-hate relationship with edging, I don’t mind getting an edging task every now and then…
There was a time when Master T wanted me to dance for him and for others, in a striptease kind of way, but thankfully I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t like to have all the attention directed at me and twisting and twirling my body, even only in front of Master T, makes me feel ridiculous and I am constantly asking myself if I am ‘good enough’. This is one thing that I have learned through experience and that Master T and I have discussed: erotic dancing is not for me.
I mentioned this word in the previous paragraph already. Remember I said that there should be consent and that things should be discussed? Discussing things beforehand and deciding on what you want to try or not, you come to a list of things you want to do. When you try something for the first time, talk about the experience afterwards. Talk about your feelings. Not only the sub should talk about feelings, but the dominant too. Did it work for you or not? Like the erotic dancing, we have talked about experiences too and on some things we decided that we would not do it again. Other things we have done many times again and gained more experience, and through the experience we have found what works for us and what not.
To be continued… F is for Fisting & More
© Rebel’s Notes
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