Pushing Boundaries

It’s been a while since the last time I have answered a question of the Submissive Guide. I am subscribed to get emails from them and tend to save the questions that I want to answer at a later stage. This is one of those saved questions:

Do you test boundaries at times? Why or why not?

 

I have two answers to the first question: yes and no.

Let me try to explain.

In our relationships there are two types of boundaries, as I believe there are in every D/s relationship. Master T has a set of rules for me, and I see those as the first type of boundaries. Some of those rules are that I have to wear nipple charms every day, shave my pussy every morning, that I have to wear my sleep collar every night, wear my butt plug once a week and that neither of us are allowed to be with others (in a sexual manner) without the other one present. At this moment I don’t wear my nipple charms daily and I do not wear my buttplug once a week. This, however, is not because I am testing my boundaries and waiting for Master T to find out and punish me. No, this is because I have discussed it with Master T and because of several reasons he has decided that I temporarily can stop with those two rules.

It happened in the past that I didn’t follow one of the standing set of rules without discussing it with Master T beforehand. This landed me a punishment, as I am not to make those decisions for myself, but have to discuss it first and then Master T will decide whether there are grounds to not do what I am supposed to do. As said in my post of some weeks ago, I have problems with my health and wearing a buttplug became painful and uncomfortable. My health is much more important to Master T than following his rules and therefore the plug is something I now only occasionally wear.

Another set of rules I have is the boundaries I have set for myself. Those are my limits, such as that I don’t want to be hurt under my feet or that I don’t particularly like dirty panties. There are other things that I have on my list and have said that I don’t want to do, but in the meantime I have started getting curious about them. Those are the boundaries I want to push; that I want to explore. Here I am thinking about trying a violet wand, being part of a gangbang or sleeping on the floor.

boundariesI know there are subs who like to cause havoc, who like to riot, who like to challenge their dominants. I don’t. I prefer to abide by the rules. It makes me feel safe. It gives structure to my day. To my life. It frees up room in my head as I don’t have to think what I want to do; I know what I have to do. Instead of using the time and energy to question the rules or have to make decisions for my self and wonder whether it’s the right decision, I can use the time and energy for other things. This doesn’t mean that I am a puppet who expects Master T to make all decisions for me. Oh no. I am very much an independent woman, but I prefer structure. Master T gives me that structure because I want it, so why should I fight it?

Pushing boundaries is something all of us do to grow. We all just have different ways to do it.

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3 thoughts on “Pushing Boundaries

  1. Twiglet @ 100acresub says:

    I used to think I was mostly ‘obedience orientated’, I wondered outloud about brats, and why oh why… but Beastly has made me more playful and more inclined to test than I thought I ever would… but I do wonder how far and for how long I can push it… but ultimately both He and I know I will obey despite my playing …
    twigs.

  2. I’m a tester. Curiosity killed the cat and what not, but I’m also a chicken shit, so I only kind of poke them a bit. I imagine there will be more of it once we are together, until we figure how we work in the same space.

  3. I sometimes push against his boundaries, but I do it less and less now. Maybe I did it more because boundaries from another were new and foreign to me, but I am finding that, like you, I really like the structure and the security. I really like the comfort that some decisions are out of my hands, as well.

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