Lord of Tears

Dacryphilia is the sexual arousal by your partner’s tears.

Immediately when I saw this I saw Master T in my mind, standing in front of me while crying during a scene, telling me how beautiful my tears are. The next image was of Him standing in front of me, taking a picture of me crying while being whipped by another Dominant. Afterwards He looked at the pictures and told me over and over how beautiful I was when I cried. I wish I could post one of those original pictures here, but it shows my face and I am not ready yet to show my face on my site.

I know He enjoys my tears, but do I enjoy crying? That was one of Jade’s questions: Do you enjoy a scene that breaks you down into tears?
At first I wanted to say ‘no’, but then I remembered those times when we had sessions which broke me down in tears, leaving me feeling cleansed and relaxed. I remembered the times when I felt upset and restless and wished Master T would hit me hard, hard enough for me to cry so u could get rid of the negative feelings. Sometimes we would indeed have a session when I felt like that and then even though I wanted to cry, the tears would not come. Or they only came after the scene.

Another question of Jade’s: As a bottom, are tears an emotional release for you, or is it actually erotic?
From what I said above, I think it’s clear that to me it’s an emotional release. Do I find it erotic to cry? No, not at all. To me it has everything to do with emotions, nothing with eroticism.

Of course I had to ask Master T his opinion on this subject, how He views it from His side. I posted Jade’s questions to Him.

As a Top, do you enjoy making your bottom cry?
Yes, He does. Like I said above and He confirmed it: Master T loves to see me cry.

As a Top, does it arouse you sexually when your bottom cries?
No, it doesn’t. It has a certain eroticism to it, but it doesn’t arouse Him sexually.

Perhaps it isn’t sexual, but a desire to comfort that it arouses, or simply a sense of satisfaction at having “done a job well”?
Master T instantly agreed with the last part: a job done well. When He sees my tears, He knows that whatever He has done, has an emotional effect on me.

Another question that made me think and discuss it with Master T: Are tears ever the focus of a scene? Do you ever ask your Top to drive you to tears, or perhaps as a Top you sometimes approach a scene with that result in mind? Or perhaps the opposite is true: part of the satisfaction of a scene is not allowing yourself to cry.
I have never asked Master T to drive me to tears, but that can’t come as a surprise, as I actually never ask for anything. Sometimes I hint to get something, but mostly I just wait for whatever happens. Have I ever hinted that I needed to cry? No, I don’t think so. Mostly when I cry during or after a scene, that is the moment when I realize I needed it. The moment that I understand that my negative feelings needed to be released. I asked Master T whether He ever started a session wanting to bring me to tears and He said no, it’s never the focus of a session.

I can recall a couple of sessions where I was angry. Mostly angry with myself and then acting like a brat towards Master T, as if I was angry with Him. When we entered a scene then, I refused to cry, refused to show Him He hurt me. Those were the scenes where tears worked as a cleansing, washing me clean from all those negative feelings.

 

Tears on my face
Tears cried during a session. The expression on my face is one of acceptance, submission.
(Click to enlarge)

 

 

Tears are not a kink of ours, but from the above it’s clear that both Master T and I enjoy it in our own ways. To Him it’s erotic, He loves the look of it, loves to see me surrender to Him, being my Lord of tears. To me it frequently is a much needed cathartic release.

© Rebel’s Notes

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