You are in a D/s relationship with your life partner with whom you live in one house and… you have kids. You do not want to tell the kids (yet) about the nature of your relationship. Maybe you never want to tell them. You want to keep your relationship low profile, but, you cannot go without being dominated or dominating for too long. Most of the things you like and want to do make a noise and you know that will evoke questions from the kids. You can go to a hotel without the kids, but this is something most people cannot do every month. So how do you solve it? How do you practice ‘silent BDSM’?
This is something I asked myself some time ago… and these posts were born.
Continued from… Silence is golden (2/10)
This is not part of our daily dynamic, but when we go out for a kinky date, Master T dictates what I should wear. Mostly I am not allowed to wear any panties and I have to wear stockings and a not too long skirt or dress. Other times I have to leave my bra off and have to wear clothes that are easily accessible for whoever He allows to reach inside.
Try controlling what the sub wears – or doesn’t wear – for any period of time. She’s not allowed to decide about it, but should wear what you want her to wear, wherever you go. Or dictate some clothing rules for one day a week, such as I am not allowed to wear any kind of underwear on a Sunday, no matter if we stay home or go out.
Everything you can do with clamps, you can also do with clothing pegs and vice versa. Depending on what kind of pegs you use, they do not hurt as much as clamps.
Other things you can consider to do with clothespins:
- Tie a string around a couple of pins and place them on the sub’s body in a line. Rip them off in one go by pulling the string. This is called a zipper and are for those who are into pain play.
- Place four clothing pins on the outer labia and tie them to the thighs using tape. This spreads that pussy wide open, ready for you to do whatever you want.
Cold is a sensation and is one more thing that can be used to make your sub focus, for instance:
- Cool down a glass dildo with cold water or in a bowl of ice before you insert it.
- Cool down a glass or steel butt plug with cold water or in a bowl of ice before you insert it.
- Melt ice on her body and do not forget to put ice on those sensitive spots.
One of the best things I have experienced is to have sex with ice inside my pussy. The mixture of cold and warmth is absolutely wonderful!
Another word of warning: do not cool your sex toys in the freezer and do not use ice directly from the freezer. Remember what happens if you put your tongue to ice? However, if you hold your sex toy under running water after you have cooled it in the freezer or allow the ice to just start to melt, then it’s okay to use it on skin.
A collar is something else that can be used in combination with all the things mentioned here. When Master T puts my collar around my neck, I am not allowed to look Him in the eye, which just tends to make me feel more submissive. The only collar with which I am allowed to look at Him is my sleep collar.
Do you have a jumpy sub? Or a whiny sub? Or a sub that just needs to get her focus back? A sub that needs to feel your control again? That needs to know who she should be obeying?
Put her in a corner for ten minutes. Forbid your sub to talk once in the corner. And ignore your sub completely for the entire time she sits there. You can even give her an order on what they should think about while in the corner. The calmness might not return immediately, but eventually it will.
Crawling from one point to the other, whether it is to get Him something He wants or whether He just told me to crawl , makes me feel small, vulnerable and submissive. I love being on my knees for Him. To me it’s one of the physical ways of showing my submission to Him. Of course, crawling never happens when the kids are around or when they might walk into the room, but when we know there’s no chance of them walking in on me, I might be found on my knees. A sub can be asked to get the Dominant something, to crawl there and bring it back in her mouth (if possible).
To be continued… Silence is golden (4/10)
© Rebel’s Notes