Dating

online dating

Dating. We have all been there. We all have our stories to tell. Or not, because we have not been part of the dating scene.

In the last couple of years – maybe the last ten – I have learned a lot about myself. Before that I have mainly been surviving with my kids, as I was either single and battling for my kids and me to survive, or in a (mentally) abusive relationship and trying my best to get out of it. I never had the time to really get to know myself. Surviving was all I had the energy for.

I admit, I have jumped into relationships far too easy and like it goes when you get older, I frequently wonder how my life would have been if I took longer to get to know a person before I started a serious relationship with him.

I rarely dated.

Okay, yes, in the strictest sense of the word, I dated, but by the time I was dating a man, I was already in love and involved with him. Dating, to me, means that you meet a person several times, expressing interest in each other, and that you get to know one another. What I did was to jump into a relationship and then I only got to know the true nature of the person when it was far too late, in other words when I was already living under the same roof as the person in question. Have I been more assertive back then, I would probably not have ended up with the broken relationships I had. But then again, I would not have been the person I am today. But that’s a post for another day.

I am not the kind of person to go to bars or events alone and meet new people there. So way back when I was younger, I too had to try and meet people using other methods. I once tried a dating service and I hated it. I came across the dating service in the local paper and sent them a letter to enroll. They called me and arranged a couple of dates for me, of men who they thought fitted what I was looking for in a partner. I had no means of checking these men before the time. The lady who ran this service promised me that she matched my profile to the men she had selected. I had two dates and then canceled the following three. I just could not do it. I hated every moment of it. This experience was way before Internet. Like I said, I found it in the local paper.

I cannot help to wonder how it would have been if Internet existed back then. I know a couple of people who have found their partners through an online dating service and they are very happy. How would it have been if I had access to the Internet and access to website for adult dating like UpForIt.com? This site states that there is no need to be lonely if you have a busy life. And whether you are looking for a one night stand or a long term relationship, this site can be for you. There are some interesting statistics mentioned on this site, such as the number of marriages that take place per year due to visiting adult dating websites.

An adult dating website that concentrates more on the aspect of having sex with others you meet online, is iWantU.com. Not everyone is looking for a long term relationship. Some people really are looking only for sex, and this can also be found via an adult dating site. But beware, looking only for sex and getting it, can also develop into a long term relationship. You never know when love catches up with you!

onlinedatingGoing back to my own situation of 20-30 years ago, I wonder how it would have been if I had access to one of these two sites. It would have been so much easier to make contact, from the comfort of my own home, my own computer. You see, once I meet people and feel at ease with them, I can relax and have a conversation. I would never initiate a conversation with a stranger and even with people I know, I have difficulty to engage in small talk. Once Internet was a fact, I had a period in which I chatted quite a lot, on online chat rooms. There I had no problem with starting a conversation or even keeping a conversation going. Have there been adult dating websites back when I was younger, it might have been a lot easier to find the right person, or rather, I might not have had the number of shitty relationships as I went through.

But, as said, had I done it differently and had I not had the relationship experiences I had, I would have been an entirely different person.

© Rebel’s Notes

4 thoughts on “Dating

  1. When I was younger, I was a lot like you. It got me into a couple of relationships that were very bad for me. Both were abusive. It made me swear off relationships for about 5 years.

    • I can imagine that you were not interested in relationships for some time. I have been in one abusive relationship and it also took me years to fully trust a man again.

  2. It’s kind if interesting to look back and ponder on “what if”.

    Also if you had all the access that we now have via the internet you may never have met Master T.

    Conversely, had the internet not been here now you may not have made the connections with the people that you and Master T have and the meetings that have taken place!

    We would also not necessarily have the wonderful blog to read that you now produce!

    ~Mia~ xx

    • I never really ponder on ‘what if’ for too long and always recognize that I had to go through some things to have what I have today. And I am so very happy with my life the way it is 🙂

      Rebel xox

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