Collaring ceremonies

In the past the topic for kink of the week was ‘collars’ and in the post  I did for that I mentioned what collars meant to me.

But first, before I give my thoughts on the subject of collaring ceremonies, let’s see what the Submissive Guide has to say about it:

Receiving your collar is a special occasion for many submissives and slaves. For some this time means a celebration of your relationship and the commitment that is about to happen. A formal collaring ceremony is what came about because of this need.

There are no right or wrong ways to be collared. They can be formal or informal. They can be private or in front of a group of your friends and “family”. For those of you who wish to plan a more formal celebration there are things to consider.

I recommend you use a wedding as an example ceremony. After all you are committing yourself to someone in a very special and often permanent way. Why not use an existing ceremony and customize it for your needs.

We made our D/s commitment on 29 January 2011 and by then we were married for almost 5 years and three months. Our marriage is solid and we are very committed to each other. We are each other’s soul mates, each other’s best friends. When we made our commitment, one of the first things that Master T said is that I would wear His collar. This felt natural to me and was something I really desired. Just like I am wearing a ring as a symbol of our marriage, I wanted to wear His collar as a symbol of our D/s relationship and my commitment to Him. Actually, I wanted to wear the collar as a symbol of our D/s commitment to each other. We never had a formal collaring ceremony. Actually, if we didn’t have to, we might not have had a formal wedding either. Ours was small with only parents and kids present. If we could have, it would have been only the two of us.

Histoire d'O collar
The Histoire d’O collar that Master T bought in 2003

Master T put the collar around my neck and that was enough ceremony for us both. The moment the collar was around my neck, I knew its implications. I knew I was committed. I wanted to be committed. It was the same collar that I have occasionally worn in the years since Master T bought it in 2003 (yes, seriously!), but now that it was symbol of a D/s commitment, which added a whole new level to us being together, it felt totally different when it was around my neck. Does that make sense?

Jade touched on the subject of contracts between Tops and bottoms. I will suffice by saying that we do not have a contract, but I do have some rules I have to live by. We do not have it in writing. I am expected to remember what I should and should not do.

I don’t think a possible “uncollaring” is something that will ever happen in our relationship. Our D/s is such a natural thing in our marriage and I think it will exist for as long as our marriage exists. Okay, let’s be realistic, we all get older and the time might come (many years from now!) where we would not be practicing BDSM anymore, and here I mean that we won’t be engaging in impact play or restraints and pain play. There might come a time when all of our D/s relationship is mostly in our mindset. It is as part of our lives as our marriage is. When our marriage ends, our D/s ends and it will not end in a divorce or an “uncollaring” as we are committed to each other for life. Only death will part us…

© Rebel’s Notes

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