Voyeurism

Voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other actions usually considered to be of a private nature.

The principal characteristic of voyeurism is that the voyeur does not normally relate directly with the subject of his/her interest, who is often unaware of being observed. Voyeurism may involve the making of a secret photograph or video of the subject during an intimate activity. When the interest in a particular subject is obsessive, the behavior may be described as stalking.

The term comes from the French voyeur, “one who looks”. A male voyeur is commonly labeled “Peeping Tom”, a term which originates from the Lady Godiva legend. However, that term is usually applied to a male who observes somebody through her window, and not in a public place.
(Source: Wikipedia)

Just reading the first paragraph of the quote from Wikipedia, I know that I am not a voyeur. I’ll rather be on the other side, as I am an exhibitionist. I prefer to be ‘voyeured’. When someone is engaged in intimate behaviors, I tend to look away, as I feel like I am invading their privacy. Even during our play dates, I sometimes feel that I am not ‘allowed’ to look, even though I know that it’s not true. It took me quite some time to get ‘used’ to watch intimate actions during a play date.

This week’s subject for Kink of the Week had me thinking about several times where I tried to be a voyeur. One of those times stands out more than any of the others. Back when I just came to the Netherlands, I was still discovering the ways of the country. Back then I loved to go to Amsterdam, and actually, I still do. Of course, you haven’t been to Amsterdam if you haven’t been to the Red Light District. Now I know I am privileged that I still experienced the Red Light District when it was a lively place and before many rules and regulations have changed it to what it is today. I have been to the Red Light District about 2 years ago and I was shocked to find that too much of the hustle and bustle were gone.

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But to get back to that one moment of voyeurism when I was roaming the streets around the canals of the Red Light District. We were walking from sex shop to sex shop and while we did, I looked at the ladies in the windows. But not the ladies in the windows of the street I was walking in. No, the ladies in the windows on the opposite side of the canal. Because I did not want them to know I was watching. I felt ashamed for watching them. The man I was with asked me if I wanted to go into a peep show. I said yes, simply because I did not know how to say no. We went into a booth, put 50 cents in the machine and quite amazingly the window in front of us was not ‘foggy’ anymore. Inside, on a round, turning bed was a woman. She was touching herself all over. I did not know where to look. I actually started studying the windows on the other side, trying to see whether other people were watching. Only my peripheral vision told me what the woman was doing. I was too shy to watch her and incredibly relieved when the window clouded once more and we walked back outside. No, I am not a voyeur at all!

Another memory that comes to mind is that of the Voyeurweb. Is anyone familiar with that? It’s a site where people can post sexy pictures of themselves for voyeurs to look at. The Voyeurweb is free of charge for exhibitionists and voyeurs. The more explicit version of the Voyeurweb is Redclouds and back then it was run by the same people who ran the Voyeurweb. I don’t know if it still is today. I cannot remember how I discovered it, but that doesn’t matter. I enjoyed putting my photos on there and waited for all the voyeurs to comment on those. Not all of the comments were nice, because some men just loved to put negative comments. They did not have a positive word for any of the entries, so I generally did not even take note of their words. The Voyeurweb was not enough for me anymore and I graduated to Redclouds. When Master T and I got together, He took over the management of all my pictures and decided what would be published on Redclouds and when.

Even though I am shy at first when I know people are watching me, I eventually enjoy to ‘perform’. Sometimes I even imagine that I am being watched and that always makes me feel good. Being the voyeur makes me feel shy or uncomfortable, as I never know whether people would be irritated if they notice I am watching them. I guess it’s quite clear here that I am not a voyeur, but I do love it when I am the object of voyeurs.

© Rebel’s Notes

Kink of the Week