Aug 072013
 

Some time ago the prompt for Wicked Wednesday was “assume“. There was this one thing that got stuck in my head after reading all the entries. (I just cannot remember where I have read it, so if anyone recognizes this, please let me know so I can link the post.)

What got stuck in my head is this: do not assume that because I am in a D/s relationship, I am doing ‘sub things’ all the time.
Yes, I always have a sub mindset. I am always ready for His orders, for His demands, always ready to do whatever Master T expects of me and whenever He expects it of me.

However, life happens. And when life happens, some things move to the background…

Like when we were very busy with renovations in the house. Or when Master T had an infection in His leg, which left Him limping and in pain. Or when I had a bad spell of low blood pressure, leaving me not feeling well. All these things made our D/s activities move to the background. Our commitment was still there. We still felt the same about being in a D/s relationship. That had not changed and it probably never will. I knew and understand all these things, knew that life has to be lived and priorities had to be set, but still I got restless. I always get restless when it has been too long since a play date or a play scene. And it has been too long…

Am I the only one that get restless like this? Am I the only one that miss the control of my Dom/Master when life happens around me? What do you do in a case like this? Do you talk to your Dom/Master and tell Him how you feel? Do you ask Him for tasks or a play scene? Do you ask Him to flog or spank you? How do you handle these situations?

I need to feel His control…

The last time this happened with us, after my being under the weather and the renovations in the house being halfway and Master T still in pain but apparently on the mend, I talked to Him. I told Him how much I missed His control, How I needed it. Of course He knew all of it without me saying it, but for my own sanity I had to say it. I had to discuss it. I had to make known that I was going crazy without His control. That I felt like a ship adrift on the ocean. I needed to be guided back to the harbour, back to the safety of His control. Only He could help me with it, no one else could.

By saying it, discussing it with Him, I already felt better. I knew He understood. Some of my restlessness disappeared. And more of it disappeared when He gave me a task to keep my mind occupied… with the promise of more to follow.

© Rebel’s Notes

The prompt for this week’s Wicked Wednesday was #mindset
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Marie Rebelle
Marie Rebelle is an erotic author and the driving force behind Rebel's Notes. She is creator of the weekly meme, Wicked Wednesday and coordinator of a Dutch writers group. She lives in the Netherlands with her Husband and kids and besides being very busy with her website and writing stories, she has a fulltime job.
Marie Rebelle
Marie Rebelle

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  16 Responses to “Restless”

  1. Lovely post. I understand the restlessness and I also can imagine that people find it hard to imagine a D/s relationship without experiencing it themselves, and so they assume there is always that power exchange. But when you are in it, it almost goes without saying. It doesn’t necessarily need to be explained to those who have been playing with it together.

  2. I often find that having a conversation about what I’m feeling can be almost as helpful as actually fixing the feelings. It’s something that really bothered my ex-. I would want him to lend a sympathetic ear, but he would want to give me suggestions to fix the problem.

    I’m not at all surprised that expressing yourself to Master T helped!
    Amie recently posted..Pursuing the MindsetMy Profile

  3. Ah life that tricky thing that throws curves when we aren’t looking. Being the top in my relationship I get distracted by things sometimes as find my sub going from calm and compliant to downright bratty and out of control. As soon as I assert my position things calm and the world is great once again. I wouldn’t have it any other way though, that is just how we are.
    Lord Raven recently posted..Lay back and RelaxMy Profile

    • I guess daily life takes preference over kink, but kink eventually is part of daily life, even though something kinky does not happen every day, right. Sometimes I just need the confirmation that the kink is still there, even though nothing kinky is happening. Sometimes I can be complicated…

  4. Oh yes I get restless too and often grumpy. Sometimes I will just push his buttons to try to get a reaction but I am getting much better at just asking for what I need. It makes him smile when I ask for something directly but then sometimes button pushing works… I just got a more heavy handed response that way

    Mollyxxx
    Molly recently posted..Sittin On The Dock Of The BayMy Profile

    • Something in your comment just made something in my mind click… you cannot imagine how much this comment of yours has helped me. Yes, there will be a blog post!

      Rebel xox

  5. I understand what you mean – my CFS means we often have to sacrifice our kink because of my health. And sometimes Stephen doesn’t initiate what he wants because he’s unsure my body can cope with it. It makes us both restless, but communicating our desires makes us stronger x
    Anna Sky recently posted..Chronic Fatigue and BDSMMy Profile

  6. It’s always great when a simple conversation helps to put minds at ease.

  7. I understand the principle of moving things to the background: my sex life has taken a battering at times because of the kids in the last eight years! :(

    I too get restless!
    John recently posted..Wicked Wednesday: Changing a mindset!My Profile

    • I knew there would be people out there that would understand this. And I don’t want to scare you, but the bigger and wiser the kids get, the worse it gets :(

      Rebel xox

  8. Dear Rebel, I suppose you described the concept of True Love. To be totaly and utterly devoted to the Beloved One. It reminds me of the concept of courtly love (hoofse liefde), the medieval concept of the unconditional love of a knight for his Lady. This love involves severe suffering (for the knights lust and wanting is never to be fullfilled) but it also strenghtens him and makes him a (morally) better man. Your vision points that way, but hey… reality creeps in. Life takes its toll, either you want it or not. I’ve had it too. Utterly painfull hemaroids which drove away each and every thought of anal sex. Reality sucks sometimes. But its great to read about your romantic ideas about devotion (just to be safe: this is no irony). For me, I see all kinds of links with religious concepts: devotion, unconditionel surrender, etc. but maybe that’s just my catholic education. Anyway, another blog of you – wise and spiritual woman – that provides me with food for thought. Thanks!
    kinquie recently posted..No feed items at the momentMy Profile

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