I went totally blank when I saw the term ‘sapiosexuality’ and knew this one would take some investigation.
(n.) A behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.
Origins: From the Latin root sapien, wise or intelligent, and Latin sexualis, relating to the sexes.
- One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
- A form of sexual orientation characterized by a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness.
- A person who is sexually attracted to the intelligence in others.
- Traditionally the attraction to intelligence, however it can also be extended to the attraction of proper, full sentences and the use of grammar.
Once I knew what sapiosexuality is, I had to sit back and think. Not for a couple of minutes, but for hours. I had to try and determine whether I can be considered to be a sapiosexual or not. I took the four explanations of the Urban Dictionary
1. One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
I definitely find intelligence attractive, but I cannot say that I find it the most sexually attractive feature. I mean, what if I have someone in front of me who I am not physically attracted to, but the person is insanely intelligent? Will I be sexually aroused because of his/her intelligence? I don’t think so. What about the other side? What if someone I am incredibly attracted to a person’s looks and he/she opens his/her mouth and I realize they are totally under-educated? Will I be sexually aroused because of his/her looks? Nope, I don’t think so. To me it is a package deal.
2. A form of sexual orientation characterized by a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness.
From what I have said above, I think it’s clear that I need a package deal and not only intelligence. Yes, intelligence in others is an attractive thing, but there’s many other factors that have to be combined with intelligence to get me sexually excited.
3. A person who is sexually attracted to the intelligence in others.
Again, what is written at 1 and 2 above applies.
4. Traditionally the attraction to intelligence, however it can also be extended to the attraction of proper, full sentences and the use of grammar.
When a person is eloquent in speech, it appeals to me. When I ‘meet’ a person online, one of the things that can immensely irritate me is the use of abbreviations of text speak. English is not my first language. Hell, Dutch is not even the language I grew up with, but I try to always use proper grammar and I always talk in full sentences. Somehow, I expect people I talk to to do the same. I won’t tell them this, but I will probably just talk to them less if they use text speak. Really, I find text speak difficult to read and I think people using it are lazy.
As for conversations, even though I have a university degree I sometimes feel like the stupid one in a conversations. Master T is an intelligent man and a great conversationalist. He reads the financial newspaper every day, follow other news online during the day, love to read books about history and whatever He reads, He does not forget. I am the opposite of that. When I have read something and it is not in my field of interest, I forget it. Take the stock market… Master T has explained to me a million times how it works, and when He explains it, i remember it, but the next day it’s forgotten. However, ask me something about subjects that keep me busy and I can tell you all about that! It’s like my mind prefers to discard of the things I do not need to remember and in its place store an excess of information on subjects I like. And it is because of this that I sometimes feel stupid in conversations with others. I know I should know things, but I just cannot remember it. Watching Master T having a conversation and hearing how much He knows… now that indeed always puts a smile on my face and make me feel proud. But does it make me horny? No, not more than I normally am!
To summarize: I will not refer to myself as a sapiosexual, but I feel that sapiosexuality definitely is part of the complex being that I am.
Thanks Jade, for this very interesting subject. It seems I learn something new every week!
© Rebel’s Notes