Exhibitionism

Back in the beginning of 2011 I did a post about my exhibitionist nature. That was still back in the time when I was hiding and writing about myself in the third person. Sometime after that I became more exhibitionist, when I started writing about myself in the first person.

What is exhibitionism? I reverted to Wikipedia again for more information:

Exhibitionism is the act of exposing in a public or semi-public context those parts of one’s body that are not normally exposed – for example, the genitals or buttocks. The practice may arise from a desire or compulsion to expose themselves in such a manner to groups of friends or acquaintances, or to strangers for their amusement or sexual satisfaction or to shock the bystander.

At the same time I found a list of different types of behavior that can be classified as exhibitionism and I thought it would be fun to work through them to see whether I show these types of behavior or have a desire to show them.

* Anasyrma: the lifting of the skirt when not wearing underwear, to expose genitals.

This is something I have done as early as when I was 14. I flashed the boy next door. He was about 17 back then. I did not only do it once, but several times and loved it when he asked me to spread my legs and show him my pussy.

* Flashing: the momentary display of bare female breasts by a woman with an up-and-down lifting of the shirt and/or bra or the exposure of a man’s or woman’s genitalia.

This is also something I have done in my teenage years. Sadly, I have grown up and realized that I can get in trouble doing this, but believe me, it is something I would love to have the guts for to do again!

* Martymachlia: a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act.

I have not been in many situations where I was able to watch when others have sex, but I have been watched before. I hope to experience both sides more in future – being watched and watching others.

* Mooning: the display of bare buttocks by pulling down of trousers and underwear. There tends to be a gendered double standard in this case: with males, the act is most often done for the sake of humour, disparagement, or mockery, as opposed to sexual excitement, whereas with females, the reverse tends to be true, and sexual arousal (or at least sexual attention) of those mooned is the intent.

This is something else I have done, especially when Scavenger hunting. Just lifting my skirt/dress and showing my bare buttocks definitely is a lot easier for Scavenger hunting that trying to be fully naked or flashing my breasts.

* Streaking: the act of running nude through a public place. The intent is not usually sexual but for shock value, including when done by a female.

This is the one type of exposure I have never done and will probably never do.

* Candaulism: when a person exposes his or her partner in a sexually explicit manner.

I think that Master T is ‘guilty’ of this…

* Reflectoporn: the act of stripping and taking a photograph using an object with a reflective surface as a mirror, then posting the image on the Internet in a public forum. Some researchers have claimed that this is a variant of exhibitionism, even though it has no in-person physical component.

And here I am guilty as charged. Very recently I have placed the perfect example of reflectoporn.

So, looking at my remarks above, I ask myself whether I am an exhibitionist. What do you think? Oh yes, I bet we all know I am!

I am an exhibitionist, yet I am shy. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but allow me to explain. Where I love to post naked pics of myself on here, I am very shy when I am in the same room as strangers and I have to expose myself to them. Once I get to know people or once I am too horny to care, I am perfectly okay with being naked in the presence of ‘strangers’. I get to the point where knowing that I am being watched, excites me even more.

What turns me on in being watched, being an exhibitionist at heart? I have no idea! I have never stopped to think about it. I just enjoy it. I have always enjoyed showing myself, even though many times I am too shy to do so. I sometimes think my shyness might have something to do with the fact that I grew up in a very conservative community and have been taught from a very young age that exposing yourself is wrong. That did not stop me from exposing myself, but it does allow for the guilty feelings to always be present in different gradations.

I have never been an exhibitionist for a crowd, but I have fantasized about it. When ‘exhibiting’ myself for others I do not want to do it in a show – like a striptease – because that makes me feel silly. I hate feeling silly! I can be shy in front of Master T, when for instance I masturbate in front of Him, but eventually my horny feelings take over and I don’t mind anymore. There are some people who are allowed to see my photos (including face) and I always have double feelings about that. It excites me to know they are looking at my photos, but at the same time I am worried that the flaws of my body might put them off entirely from looking at me.

I guess one place where the true exhibitionist in me is allowed to play, is when I go to the wellness resort. I love walking naked and knowing that the other women (we always go on days when only women are allowed) are watching me. Even if I know they do not really watch me all the time or some of them might not even see me, I like to think they have noticed me.

Quoting from the KOWT site:

Someone once said to me, “All bloggers are exhibitionists, even those that remain anonymous.” Would you agree or disagree with that statement?

I definitely agree with this statement. Even those who have never and will never expose themselves outside of their bedrooms are exhibitionists. And yes, even those who share only sexy words and no images are exhibitionists. My blog is the place where my exhibitionist nature comes out frequently: sharing my sex life, sharing my photos and sharing my fantasies.

And I will keep on doing it…

My exhibitionist nature

© Rebel’s Notes

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