I have so much to say about this week’s topic, that I do not even know where to start.
Maybe I should start by asking myself a question, in which I refer to the introductory post for this week’s topic:
Am I a “marks fetishist”?
I think the answer will become clear during this post.
When Master T and I embarked on our D/s journey, He showed me this photo:
Part of me recoiled when I saw it and part of me was intrigued. The part of me that recoiled was the part that instantly thought about the pain. I saw the whip and knew it was going to hurt like hell to feel that touching my skin. Back then I did not know that I would love the pain. Or rather, that I would have a love-hate relationship with it. I always fight it at first, but eventually I give into it and the hornier I get, the more I want it. This is not always true for whippings/floggings/spankings though, as that is a different kind of pain than when my nipples are pinched.
The intriguing part when I saw the pic was seeing the marks on her back and bottom and the feeling of intense desire that I felt at that moment. I longed to have those too. I wanted to be able to feel the hurt of my bottom and to know that He had put the marks there. I wanted to feel His love burning on my body. At the time that Master T showed me this photo, I have never before been marked in the context of a BDSM relationship.
But oh god, how I wanted to be marked by Him…
So much so that when Master T started using the flogger and the cane on me, one of my first questions after a session always was: are there any marks? It happened once or twice that Master T marked me well enough and the marks lasted for one or two days. Then we met Master R and Dena and the very first time we had a date, I had slight marks on my bottom. Our second date lasted a weekend and my bottom was literally trashed after that weekend. I was so proud. I could not stop looking at the marks. It was like I was floating every time I looked in the mirror and saw the palette of colors on my buttocks. So beautiful!
I have been marked more times after that weekend – both by Master T and by Master R. Every time I am marked, I want to have photos of it. I want to be have the photos to look at them, to really be able to study the marks, but also to look back on some great times many years from now.
There are times when I am embarrassed by marks on my body. When I bump into a table and it leaves a bruise, I don’t like it when I see it. When I see a bruise on my ass, it makes me smile. Many moons ago I was in an abusive relationship and thinking back on that, I remember how terrible I felt when I saw the marks he had left on my body after he had stilled his rage on my body. I could never be proud of those marks. Never. Sometimes I think about that abusive relationship, how I swore that I would never allow a man to raise his hand for me, ever again. And here I am, in a BDSM relationship where I absolutely crave to be marked. I guess we all know the explanation for that: consent!
Two weeks ago we stayed overnight in a hotel. Master T used a whip on me and the next morning, at first glance, I could not see one mark. However, just after I have taken a shower, I checked again and there it was, a faint bluish line on my buttock. Can you imagine my glee when I found that, when I saw He had indeed marked me?
Jade has asked some more questions regarding marks:
Are marks sexy? Yes!
Are they a badge of honor? Yes!
Do you poke at them? Yes!
Sigh over them? Oh yes, with a big smile!
Look at them in the mirror? Yes, with an even bigger smile!
Take pictures of them? Yes, for sure!
Happy Sigh… I am proud to admit… I am a marks fetishist!
© Rebel’s Notes