What does Wikipedia have to say about collars?

In a BDSM context, a collar is a device of any material placed around the neck of the submissive partner. It is also a term used to show ownership of one partner by another. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal “collaring ceremonies,” which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony. The standard form of a collar is a black leather band around the neck and often has metal D-rings added to allow the attachment of a leash.

Then, a quote from the Submissive Guide:

The collar is the most outward symbol that a submissive can wear that was given to them by their Dominant. It is usually the most important piece of jewelry worn on a daily basis. There are many different ways to think about your collar. Some consider it equal to an engagement ring or wedding band. The commitment that they feel in the relationship makes it that important. For others it is a strong symbol of commitment but not of the same calibre as a wedding ring. Further yet, there are people who feel their collar is just a symbol and nothing more. There is a wide spectrum of others who feel somewhere in the middle of it all. There is no one correct way to feel about your collar.

I have 7 collars:
* 4 collars used during play
* 1 night collar, which I sleep with every night
* 2 discrete day collars

The first three collars were bought long before we made the commitment to our D/s relationship. I had no idea why it felt so good when Master T put them around my neck. I felt beautiful, wanted, protected, loved. I never questioned my feelings, I just accepted that the collars gave me a special feeling. The first collar came with cuffs, the second was my Histoire d’O collar and the third was a more rigid leather collar. The fourth collar and my night collar were bought on the same day. The night collar is a thin, gold colored collar with a slave ring on it. I have grown so accustomed to sleep with it, that I just cannot go without it anymore. The other play collar has a soft inner part, and the outside is covered with silver colored steel. I have matching wrist and ankle cuffs for this steel covered collar.

When I started wearing my night collar, I wanted to wear a day collar too. I was happy when Master T agreed to this and ended up buying two day collars, which look more or less the same. I had to buy the second one, since the first one had too much metal in it, which reacted to my body because it contains trace amounts of nickel. Ever since I have my day collars, I wear them every day. Up to now, no one has asked me why I wear the same around my neck every day. Only one person has mentioned that it’s a remarkable piece of jewelry, to which I have said thank you and I did not elaborate.

What does my collars mean to me?

My day collars links me to Him, even though we are apart. I don’t need to be reminded that I am His, but I cannot help to smile at my reflection in the mirror and think that I am truly His. Many times during the day I touch the O-ring on my day collar and think of Him, sometimes with a memory of the night before or with excitement of something that we have planned.

My night collar makes me feel safe. I do not put it around my neck – He does. When He does, it feels like He is claiming me as His all over again. Every night. It just makes me feel so special.

The four play collars all have the same effect. The moment I feel them around my neck, I feel submissive. I am not allowed to look at Him when I wear any of these four collars. That alone makes me feel small, makes me want to submit to everything that He expects of me. Two of the four collars – the one we bought first and the more rigid one – hurt when they are around my neck. One night, when I was punished, Master T put the rigid one around my neck. I started to call these two collars my punishment collars because they both hurt. Therefore I try to avoid having either of these around my neck.

We have not had something like a collaring ceremony, but my collar is immensely important to me. Maybe not as important as my wedding ring, but definitely a close second. In a period of 24 hours I am without a collar for an average of only two hours. For the rest of the time I am always with a collar, be it my day collar, my night collar or a collar used for play or punishment.

Without one of my collars around my neck, I feel naked.
(click photos to enlarge and browse)


© Rebel’s Notes