May 032013
 

When I first saw the topic of this week’s Kink of the Week, I literally recoiled. Face slapping? Oh my god no! Never. Those where the thoughts in the first couple of seconds…

… and then I began to smile.

Let me first explain why my first reaction was a negative one.

Back in my younger days – I was fifteen at the time – I witnessed how my father slapped my mother. Mom and dad had a fight – one of so many. Normally I was in my room and preferred to stay there until things quieted down again, but I think this day the fight was particularly bad or something must have happened or had been said that prompted me to leave my room. I still vividly remember myself standing in the kitchen, looking out on the courtyard where mom and dad continued to fight. Mom was standing in front of dad and they were screaming at each other. I could not hear any words, but in a flash I saw dad raising his hand and slapping mom. In the face. On her cheek. One hard blow. The fight was instantly over and I rushed to get to my bedroom, afraid for them to know I have seen what had happened. I heard the kitchen door open and just before I closed my bedroom door, I heard mom’s words: if you ever slap me again, I’m gone. With the kids. Dad never raised his hand for her again.

Years later – this time I was 27 – I was in a bad relationship. He was a violent man, but up to that point he had never raised his hand for me. I was his mistress and knew that he abused his wife. I was always quite obedient with this man. This was not because we were in any kind of kink relationship, but just because obedience is part of my nature. This day, however, I was so tired of his commanding nature that I refused to get him a drink when he literally ordered me to do so. He was so angry with me. I did not stop. I was angry too. Threateningly he walked towards me – fire in his eyes. I knew he was blinded by anger. When he stood right in front of me I said: are you going to slap me the same way…

I was going to say: are you going to slap me the same way you do your wife, but I did not get the chance. He must have known what I was going to say or he just did not care. I was not unconscious, but I did not immediately understand what had happened. My senses returned and I realized I was leaning against the wall behind me. I straightened up. My knees felt wobbly; my legs felt like jelly. At first I did not understand why, until I felt the sting on my cheek. Only then I understood. He immediately apologized and promised it would never happen again, that he did not mean to do it, etc, etc, etc. You know the drill…

There’s another bad experience I had that involved face slapping, but this is not the place to tell that story, other than to say that it has left its mark on my life. The three experiences left me thinking of face slapping as something negative. Something that should never happen. Something that ends relationships. Something that I would never allow to happen, ever again. Yes… definitely a hard limit.

Then, on one of our playdates with Master R and Dena – I think it was the one where we were together for a weekend – I saw how Master R slapped Dena’s cheek. It was nothing like the slaps I wrote about above. No, His hand was close to her cheek but He audibly slapped her cheek. I had no idea if it hurt. From the way she looked at Him, I could not tell either. Seeing it did not appall me at all. It excited me to watch them. I saw so many things in that short moment: the raw passion, the love, the trust, the bond between then. It was beautiful to watch.

I had the privilege to experience Master R’s face slapping once, on our way to our last playdate. I felt incredibly submissive at that moment and not in the least bit offended that He had slapped me. In fact, I wanted more… more slapping, more submitting.

Face slapping is not part of the dynamic between Master T and me. Or maybe I should say that it has just not happened. Will it happen? I don’t know. Would I want it to happen. I don’t know either. Yes, maybe.

Source: erosblog.com

There was a time when I would have seen face slapping as an enormous turn-off. A time where I would have been terrified of it, because to me it represented the beginning of the end. But, after seeing Master R and Dena together and after feeling Master R’s hand on my cheek I realize that this is something I find interesting. As Jade said: “face slapping can be erotic, teasing, playful, fun.” That is the part I would love to explore. Jade continues: “It can also be brutal, harsh and frightening, even dangerous.” That is the part I would not want to explore at all.

I guess this means that for me, face slapping is partly a hard limit and partly not a limit at all. It’s a limit if it’s the kind of face slapping that is done in anger and the kind that leaves marks in my face. Marks in my face definitely is a hard limit. Related: I would never pierce anywhere in my face. Face slapping, when done in an erotic, teasing, playful, fun way and as a sign of gentle affection… that is the kind of face slapping I would love to explore!

© Rebel’s Notes

Kink of the Week

Marie Rebelle
Marie Rebelle is an erotic author and the driving force behind Rebel's Notes. She is creator of the weekly meme, Wicked Wednesday and coordinator of a Dutch writers group. She lives in the Netherlands with her Husband and kids and besides being very busy with her website and writing stories, she has a fulltime job.
Marie Rebelle
Marie Rebelle

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  14 Responses to “Kink of the Week 6: Face Slapping”

  1. I can’t quite imagine what it must have been like to watch Master R and Dena in that situation. It’s great that seeing it in a different atmosphere has helped you to think of ways it might be fun to you. Reading this (and the other, more positive posts on this kink) has made me wonder if it might be something for me to try again sometime. Probably not any time soon, but maybe in the future. For now, like Molly, it is a big fat no for me!
    SubReiSkyeM recently posted..Kink of the Week: Face-slappingMy Profile

    • I don’t know if face slapping will ever happen for me again. I don’t think Master T will ever slap me in the face, but Master R might do it again. Time will tell. And as said a couple of times: no aggressive face slapping for me. That’s a hard limit.
      Thanks for your comment :)

  2. I won’t pierce on my face either (I don’t count the tongue piercing with that! LOL). It’s not that I thought about the marks so much with face-slapping so much as I thought of that being such a vulnerable area; we’ll let ourselves be flogged over any other part of our bodies even to the point of drawing blood and yet the face draws us up short.

    ~Kazi xxx
    KaziGrrl recently posted..KOTW: Face SlappingMy Profile

    • I exclude a tongue piercing too, although I would never be brave enough to get one.
      And you’re right: I don’t mind marks on any other part of my body, but not in my face. That’s a no-go!

      Rebel xox

  3. I guess the intent of the person slapping you makes a big difference in how it is received. Thanks for sharing, I think we should all beware of the abusive flavor and recognizing it is a very important skill!
    dedi recently posted..Face slappingMy Profile

    • You are quite right there: the person doing the slapping should never do it from an anger point of view and should never intend to leave marks in the face. That would be a big no to me, a moment to use a safeword.

  4. I found myself nodding vigorously as I read this. Not because *I* have ever experienced slapping in negative situations, as you have, but because so often when I hear people talk about it being a limit, these are the stories they tell. It is a VERY intimate thing to do with someone, intimate emotionally, I mean, and can carry some heavy emotional triggers.

    And excellent post on the subject!
    Jade recently posted..Wicked Wednesday – Comment: Masturbation & OrgasmsMy Profile

    • Indeed, it can carry some heavy emotional triggers and this is why I would never allow the aggressive kind of slapping, as mentioned in my reply to Molly :) xox

  5. Molly is indeed right it is awesome you have explored this enough you have found space for it in your kink :-) Interesting read :-)
    Saint1ess recently posted..KotW – Confusion of PorcelainMy Profile

  6. Wow Rebel, that is quite some story, I found myself scared for you at the beginning. I am glad you have found a place for it within your kink, for me, it turned into a big fat no.

    Mollyxxx
    Molly recently posted..Hit Me Baby One More TimeMy Profile

    • I don’t know if it will always have a place in my kink. The slaps Master R gave me were done from a distance of at most 10cm from my face. The other slaps I have seen – the aggressive kind – has been given by men who raised their arms further than shoulder height. This aggressive kind of slapping will always be a big fat NO in my kink.

      Rebel xox

  7. It sounds like you’ve experienced the full range of intentions with face slapping and my idea of it, that tallies with the first part of your post, has always been that it comes from an aggressive place. However, it must have been wonderful to see it used in a totally different, and erotic way.

    Anna
    x
    Anna Sky recently posted..Kink of the Week: Face SlappingMy Profile

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