Continued from… Day 27
Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
My submission has never let me down. For the bigger part of my life, I have never even known that there was a name for the feelings I had inside me. I only discovered it when my life moved into calmer waters and my Husband slowly coached me into recognizing and naming the feelings inside me. Ever since He has been the one who held my hand and trained me to be His submissive, because that is what I wanted. Discovering my submission, being able to admit and name the feelings I have, felt like a warm blanket has been put around my shoulders on a very cold day.
I have never been criticized for my submission, but this might simply be because only my Husband, my best friend and some like-minded people know about it. I know my family will probably be the ones who will have the most negative things to say about it and will not even try to understand it. Of course, there are one or two exceptions – one who would try to understand and another who would be happy if this is what makes me happy. Still I think I will get more negative reactions than positive. And not only from my family, but also from other people like colleagues and acquaintances. If by chance my submission – or the subject of bdsm – is discussed, it depends on who the conversation is with whether I would say something about my submissive nature or not.
I have never regretted being submissive. Why would I? It’s who I am. I am thankful that I can act on those feelings and that I have a loving Husband who just happens to be my Dominant too. Looking back on my life I know I have always been submissive and have always unconsciously been seeking for one who could control me. I just needed for the right person to bring my submissive nature to the surface.
I look forward to the day that we can be open about our D/s relationship when in our own home. The day the kids leave to live on their own, things will change. That is what Master T wants and that is what I want too. Also, as we get older, I hope that we will still be able to live the D/s relationship we have now, even though getting older will probably mean that there might be some restrictions. But that’s just a tiny part of it, right? I have confidence in the fact that I might never regret being submissive and never have to admit that I have made a mistake. I cannot imagine my submission ever letting me down.
To be continued… Day 29
© Rebel’s Notes