Keeping vigil this past week, literally watching the life draining out of someone, so many thoughts ran through my mind:
Is it sinful to wish someone would die, seeing their suffering, wanting them to be at peace?
Is it sinful to wish my life would be back to ‘normal’ again? To wish I could go to sleep and all of this that we are going through, was just a bad dream?
Is it sinful to wonder whether my Husband will ever want to have sex again, after the hard time he is going through now.
Is it sinful to long for his touch (not sex) every day, even though I know that now it’s the last thing he even wants to think about?
Is it sinful of me to have these thoughts? That I find what we are going through very hard?
That keeping my blog up makes me feel as if at least something is still ‘normal’?
Does it make me a terrible person? Or does it make me human?
© Rebel’s Notes
To all: Thanks for your comments on this post. It was a difficult time and we came through it and are still healing. Having these kind of feelings while keeping vigil just confirmed to me that I am still human. And your comments helped me to see that too.
Hugs to all!
~Rebel~
My two cents? Even if it is sinful, you are still doing good because you are keeping Jesus employed!
Have faith in your strength and in who you are. Denying that, would be the greatest sin of all….
*big big hugs* It's not a sin – and it's very human. I've been where you are and had the same questions. I am thinking of you, and your husband.
xx Dee
It certainly makes you human. I hope times look up for you soon. *hugs* Beautiful photograph.
@110073436272853871900
The previous comment was from me. Not quite sure how the strange id popped up!!!
Mia
Completely human babes. Life comes and goes and we all have our own ways to deal with it. You will both get there in your own ways. Just know that you love each other and will find your ways.
HUMAN….completely and utterly normal, whatever normal is…LOL
Big hugs for you
Mollyxxx
It is normal, there are times when we lean on people and times when people lean on us. I hope you get what you want soon.
It makes you human, indeed!
May you both know peace soon… though I can't say 'normal' ever returns…
~Kazi
It makes you human *hugs you* what a tough time you are going through, I hope it passes quickly and is resolved as happily as it can be xx