Recently I came across a TMI (Too Much Info) post that had questions about the seven deadly sins. One of the deadly sins is lust. This made me think… what am I lusting for?
Looking at my life as it is now, I am very happy. My Husband is my everything. My best friend. My love. My soul mate. My Husband. My owner. What more could I wish for?
There is one thing. I lust for a woman in my life. Yes, I have women in my life – my family members and my best friend. But, that is not what I mean. I want a female sex partner. A woman with whom I also connect on a sexual level; someone with whom I could grow an intimate friendship. I would have loved to have this with my best friend. We share absolutely everything with each other – no matter how intimate the detail. We talk about sex – my sex life, her sex life. But we don’t have sex with each other. I would love to, but she is much more inhibited than I am. And she is in a much more conservative marriage than I am in.
Years ago I was in a relationship with a woman. Unfortunately it turned out bad, when I discovered that the woman was ‘bisexual’ only so her husband could legally fuck other women. The magic of it quickly disappeared. At least I’ve had the experience and it confirmed to me that it is definitely what I want – not only a man, but a woman too.
Now I’m at a stage in my life where I would love to have that special woman in my life. Not just someone who passes by for a one-night stand, but someone who get to be a substantial part of my life. Who I share more than only my bed with. A woman who is interested in me, and not in trying to get my husband interested in her. I fully trust my husband – it’s some of the women I don’t trust. However, it’s so difficult to find someone on our terms.
I keep positive about this, believing that one day this woman will cross my path. That one day I will find this woman with whom I can fully connect with – with whom I can laugh & cry, whom I can hug and kiss, who will suck my nipples and finger my pussy. I believe that one day I will be able to nestle between the legs of another woman again, smelling her, feeling her, tasting her.
Yes, I lust for a woman.
© Rebel’s Notes