Turning it up a notch?

I was jealous. I was needy. I wanted more. Jealous because I read about all the tasks other submissive women perform almost daily. Needy, because I wanted it too. I am not generally a jealous type, but my need made me jealous. I was on the brink of tears when at last I admitted it to my Husband.

He asked me: Do you want to leave the path of small steps?
My answer: Yes and no.

By this I meant that yes, I want some bigger steps, but no, I don’t want any giant steps. But yes, I do want it turned up a notch. This landed me a task for the following day. Two actually. I was going to be off from work the next day, and so was Hubby. He said that the moment I got out of bed, He was going to attach nipple clamps to my nipples and that I am to wear them until I go to take a shower. On days that I am off, I might be up for 2 or 3 hours before taking a shower. I swallowed when I heard about this task. I am not a morning person. Not that I’m grumpy, but I am just not a morning person. Still, I saw it as a challenge to wear the clamps just being awake, and of course, I wanted to please Him.

The second task was that I had to wear my buttplug the next day, when going to painting class in the evening. Somehow deep down I knew that one day he will tell me to do this. Being there for three hours, knowing that I am wearing the plug… would I be able to handle it?

The next day
I was up an hour after my Husband and called Him from upstairs to tell Him that I was awake. He came upstairs and took out the box with clamps. Unfortunately, when my Husband wanted to put the clamps on, we discovered that we did not have any clamps that were small enough to wear under my clothes. My son had called in sick and was at home. We did not want Him to discover His mom was wearing clamps under her clothes. Immediately this was an item that went on our shopping list: tiny clamps.

Just before I left for painting class I went to our bedroom, lay down on the bed and slowly inserted my medium sized njoy buttplug. I love this plug – it’s very comfortable to wear and doesn’t hurt me one bit. The base of the previous steel plug I used was just too big and thick and after a while it hurt me so much that I could hardly sit anymore. I was about to find out just how comfortable and sexy the njoy plug is. It was the first time ever that I drove somewhere with a plug in place. Every tiny bump in the road made the plug move inside me and made my pussy go wetter. It’s a drive of about 5 minutes, but the wetness was very evident between my legs.

All the time through painting class I was very aware of the plug, but I did not feel self-conscious at all. At one stage I showed the ladies the pictures that I will use as base for my next paintings. They recognized the BDSM theme and made a lot of jokes about it. I joked with them while thinking: if only you know what I feel in my ass at this moment.

I was all prepared for whatever He had planned when I got home, but when I walked in I immediately saw that my Hubby was not feeling so well. Once in a while He gets a kind of ‘attack’ and has to rest. I was very horny, but that was not important anymore. We drank something together – my plug still in place – and then we went to bed. All that helps Hubby to get over the ‘attack’ is sleep. I was not tired at all, so I watched some program on television. Hubby slumbered. I was restless. At a stage I turned over and told Him that I was going to try to flip a switch in my mind.

“I understand that it must be difficult,” He said.
I looked at Him in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“You must be very horny,” He said, while switching off the light so we could go to sleep.
“I am,” I said, “but it’s okay.”
“Next time this happens, you will be ordered to bring yourself to orgasm. I should have thought of that earlier.”

Somehow these words flipped the switch in my mind. I could sleep after that, thinking about what He said, feeling content that He understood how I felt at that moment. My love for Him is almost a physical pain at moments like these!

So are we going to turn it up a notch? Am I going to get more of these kind of tasks, and even more challenging ones? Will there come a day where He sends me to my work, wearing a plug all day? Or that He wants me to wear clamps all day long? Or that He expects me to climax any number of times He dicates? I want to take bigger steps than we have been taking up to now. Whatever He desires of me, I will give Him. I will perform His tasks. With much love.

(written on 19.05.2011)
© Rebel’s Notes