Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Source: konachan.com

In a way it has been a gradual process. Due to some life changing experiences there was a time in my life where I had little attention for my own interests and preferences. By the time my life at last entered some smoother waters, I looked back on all the sexual experiences I had. Some of them were dull, some of them were quite exciting and some of them I wished had never happened.

Looking back on my sexual experiences of course I saw some kinky stuff in there. But since I had quite a conservative upbringing, I thought what I did was ‘wrong’ and should not be repeated. The one that really made me crawl out of my protective shell was my husband. He never pushed me, but let me discover my kinkiness by myself. We talk about sex a lot – actually, we mail each other about sex a lot. The kids are mostly around and then you cannot really talk about sex, but since both of us sit at our laptops every evening, we frequently mail about hot stuff. Yes, we have also discussed kinky stuff, preferences, and fantasies.

In the last 10 – 15 years I have ‘secretly’ explored my kinks – secretly at first and more openly since I’ve been with my husband. BDSM scenes in porn movies and photos online intrigued me. It excited me. Gradually I did not only discover that I have a kinky side, but I also learnt that I did not have to hide that kinky side anymore. I’ve learnt that when I’m with my husband, I can be as kinky as I want to be, because he just loves and adores it. And since I have admitted that my deepest wish (and of course one of my kinks) is to submit to my husband, I have not been happier.

(written on 03.04.2011)

© Rebel’s Notes